Tuesday, June 30, 2015

{Awareness} Parenting: 10 Steps for Monitoring and Controlling Your Kids Online Activities

 


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By Megan Maas, M.S.

Talking with parents about sexuality and online safety, it seems as if everyone just wants to know what button to push or what software to buy to ensure their child never sees porn, never talks to strangers online, and never posts provocative pictures. So let me say this from the get-go: There is nothing you or any other parent can do to guarantee your child will never do anything potentially dangerous online. There are, however, steps parents can take to drastically reduce the probability that a child will develop problematic internet behaviors.

In general, your goal should be to first focus on becoming a reduced-tech family. Putting more emphasis on the real world and less emphasis on the digital realm can help kids and teens put their value and energy into their real lives. It will lead to healthy use of the web—as a tool to connect with others and to learn about the world on an as-needed basis—instead of constantly trolling the cyber-sphere searching for the next thrill.

Here are 10 steps to get you and your family establish rules and practices for online safety:

  1. Get to know the technology, apps, and websites: So many parents I speak with don't know how to work apps, navigate a laptop, or turn on the Wii. Search YouTube for how-to videos and spend some time getting comfortable with the technology your child is using. You can also check out this App Guide for Parents, to fill you in on all the latest apps and how they work. Learn all about teens' use of social media sites and other online behaviors. Hint: Facebook is old news.
  2. Use existing privacy settings: Check the privacy and parental settings on all of your devices—desktop computers, laptops, phones, tablets, game consoles—and use them. Super savvy teens can bypass these if they work hard enough, but younger kids can't. And even older kids may be deterred or at least slowed down by them.
  3. Filter and monitor: Parents will tell me that they talked to their child about the internet, so they don't need to install monitoring software. Wrong! No matter how much you trust your child, it is essential to install software that can monitor tablets and smart phones (examples include this one and this one). Of course, there are ways for your child to get around these, which is why you need to continually check the devices and re-install the software as needed. Remember to be honest about your monitoring. Secretly recording a kid's internet usage will likely do more harm to the relationship than good for the child.
  4. Talk to your kids about digital citizenship: It's important for your kids to know that everything online is permanent. Everyone can see your "likes" and "favorites" as well as your comments on other photos, not to mention your own photos and videos. This permanency makes it important to consider your online reputation. Teens can start building a positive reputation online using LinkedIn and keeping all other social media profiles completely private. For example, most people keep their Twitter and Instagram profiles public and college admission committees will search applicants online and see those profiles. Encourage teens not to post sexy or wild photos of themselves, or at least not as a profile pic.
  5. Limit technology use: Try to limit tech and screen time by providing windows of time for when it is allowed and when it is not. You can also try a tech curfew, such as no internet after 7 or 8 p.m. Some families have instituted rules banning tablet or smartphone usage from 5-7 p.m., after which they allow a 30-minute window for responding to emails, messages, and texts, before having all devices turned off again at 7:30. There is also software which tracks time spent on Netflix, Facebook and games as well as applications like Microsoft Word and Excel, which is another way to monitor time spent on a computer doing recreational activities vs. homework activities. There is a new trend called "vamping," where teens stay up all night on social media while their parents think they're asleep. If this is the case in your home, you might have to disable the wireless router at night.

    6. Get step-by-step help setting limits in your home: The Total Transformation

  6. Keep internet devices in public places: It's easy to sneak a peek at porn when at a friend's house or even in your own living room. However, it is hard to watch hours of porn every day or to chat with a pedophile online if the only available devices are in the living room or den. So it's a good idea to forbid laptops, tablets, or smartphones in bedrooms or bathrooms. They are not private devices, so they do not belong in private rooms. Here's the catch: You should be role-modeling this behavior. Try to have a "home" for all your devices, such as a basket or cabinet (and consider locking them away if need be). This sends the message that these devices don't belong to your child—they belong to you, the parent, and you are allowing your child to use the device, as long as it's used responsibly. 
  7. Set rules with consequences. Digital behavior should be thought of as an extension of the self or a representation of the self. If you wouldn't do something in person, "in real life," you probably shouldn't be doing it online. Little kids understand this better than big kids who can think more abstractly and can rationalize their bad behavior online. One way to get your children to think about their online behavior is to have them sign a contract agreeing to the digital-behavior rules you set and outlining consequences if the agreement is broken. You can find a sample contract here.
  8. Gradually build autonomy: Your goal as a parent is to build autonomy within your child in almost every area: finances, emotions, social bonds, chores, and so much more. You want your child to be able to take care of himself or herself. The same is true for his or her cyber-self. Trying to block and/or monitor everything or eliminate technology completely isn't going to help your children regulate their digital behavior once they leave your house. That said, kids under 14 don't really have the ability (developmentally) to regulate themselves, so blocking and/or monitoring as much as possible is essential. As they get older, you can expand their cyber freedom as they earn your trust.

    9. Is extreme defiance stopping you from trusting your kid? Try The ODD Lifeline

  9. Respect privacy: This step is perhaps the most important one, because it sends the message that your monitoring efforts aren't about stifling their privacy; they are about protecting your kids. Respecting their privacy can include providing physical privacy (e.g. always knocking before entering their bedroom); providing a private diary or voice recorder for them to record their thoughts and desires; giving them access to sexual health websites (you may have to manually allow these if you are filtering their web use); providing them with books about bodies and sexuality for them to read on their own (and making clear you are available to answer questions); and allowing them to have private conversations with their friends on the phone and/or private time in-person..
  10. Fill in with fun: Now that you've carved out some time where everyone won't be glued to their devices, fill in that time with fun activities. Model the behavior you want to see in your kids and the healthy attitude they should have toward technology and the internet. Make your fun time together as creative and stress-free as possible to help ensure that they don't shrug off the wonders of the real world and face-to-face relationships in favor of what they are missing at that moment online.

Read more at empoweringparents

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{Awareness} Sélavi that’s life - The shepherd boy

 


 

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 Pedagogical Project
"The Joy of Reading"
 
______________________________________
   
 STORIES FOR EVERYONE – stories in slideshare
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This week's stories with PDF attachments: 
 
- Sélavi — that is life
 
- The Shepherd Boy
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Sélavi — that is life

 

 

Children long to become capable and to show how much they can care for each other. This book helps them begin to think and to find ways of doing this, even as children. Especially as children.

—Molly Bang

 

 

Note to the Reader

The primary language in Haiti is Kreyòl, which has roots in French and West African languages. Words are pronounced phonetically, just as they are spelled. Sélavi means that is life.

 

Not so long ago and not so far away, people with guns could take a family, burn a house and disappear, leaving a small child alone in the world.

This child went north and south, east and west. Here and there he found something to eat and a place to sleep, but not a family and not a home.

In the capital city of his country, the streets were crowded with overloaded buses, cars with darkened windows, and more people with guns. Angry faces shouted, "Move on," and "Go home." The child was too tired to keep going. He sat on the curb with his head in his hands.

Suddenly, a hand was on his shoulder. Was it a man with a gun? No, it was a boy his own age, saying, "My name is TiFrè. Have some plantains. What is your name? Where are you from?"

The child ate hungrily but didn´t answer.

"You can name yourself," Tifrè said. "Like my name means Little Brother. We could call you Hungry, Sleepy, or Little Traveler..."

"I am all those things," the child said. "And that´s life." From then on they called him Sélavi.

Tifrè brought Sélavi to the place where he lived, a banyan tree near a market square which emptied out in the evening. As the sun went down, child after child came home with something to share. Jenti, braiding Toussaint´s hair, said, "I have some avocados for everyone. They gave them to me for working at the restaurant." Toussaint called out, ´´Mangoes for one and all. I was at the docks today."

Yvette and Espri introduced themselves. "Help yourself to drinking water," Yvette offered. Espri smiled at Sélavi.

"And this is Mirror," said Tifrè, pointing to a child taking apart a broken radio. He then placed fried plantains wrapped in brown paper on a makeshift table. "We each bring back what we get during the day, and we all end up with more."

That night they had enough to eat, a place to rest, and the comfort of each other. As they settled down to sleep, Sélavi told of the men with guns and his long run through the countryside. Then the others told their stories too.

JENTI: My family left our village on an old ferry boat. I ran ashore to get one last thing and when I returned, the boat had fallen apart. I lost everybody. I was eight years old.

TOUSSAINT: Man, I was nine and our house had three brothers, two sisters, four cousins, a grandpa, an uncle, two aunties, my mame and papa. It seemed like one dry bean for all of us, so I said, "This is more than one house can hold." I go back sometimes and make sure they are as okay as can be.

ESPRI AND YVETTE: We were sleeping when our parents woke us and told us to hide so we hid together in an empty oil drum. There was a lot of shouting and then silence. When we came out, there was no one. A family took us in to work for them, but they didn´t care for us.

TIFRÈ: My mother moved us to the city where we knew no one. When she couldn´t find a house, she made one from things she found. She got very sick and died. Soon after, my brother died too. I was too sad to cry right away.

The next morning, and many mornings that followed, the children rose early to look for work washing cars, carrying water, cleaning clothes, asking people for money or food, and searching for useful metal or scraps that others had thrown away.

But then, one day a man in uniform pushed Sélavi roughly.

"All of you street children are dirty thieves," he said.

Sélavi was frightened. He ran back to the children´s home beneath the banyan tree.

There were more angry faces there. One of them said, "We have chased away your friends. If we ever see you again, we will arrest you."

Sélavi ran down a side street and into a church. There he saw many families. Some of them seemed kind, but others were frowning because he had interrupted them.

A man was speaking to the people. "Alone," he said, "we may be a single drop of water, but together we can be a mighty river. We must help each other to become strong!"

Sélavi called out, "I need help." Faces turned toward him. Sélavi told them about his friends and the men who had threatened him. An older woman said, "You are safe here." A couple stood. "Come live with us and be our son."

"Thank you very much," said Sélavi, "but what about my brothers and sisters in the street?"

 

 

… (To be continued - You can read the whole story in the PDF attachment)

 

 

Youme Landowne

Sélavie, that is life: a Haitian story oh hope

El Paso, Cinco Puntos Press, 2004 

 
 
 
 
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 The Shepherd Boy

 

James´ father was a shepherd. Every day he got up very early, took his crook and his collie, and went off to see his sheep.

James longed to be a shepherd too.

"You´ll have to wait until you´re a little older," his father said.

So every day James watched and waited.

James watched and waited all through spring. He watched as the new lambs were born, and saw them grow big and strong.

James watched and waited all through summer. He watched his father clip the sheep, and saw his mother pack the sacks of wool.

James watched and waited all through autumn. He watched his mother help to wean the lambs, and saw his father dip the sheep.

On market-day, James waited while the lambs were sold and heard the farmers talk of winter.

When snow fell, James watched his father feed the hungry sheep near the house, and saw him take hay on the tractor to the sheep on the hill.

Then James waited for his father to come home for tea.

On Christmas Day, James and his father and mother opened their presents

under the tree.

 

 

 

 

(To be continued - You can read the whole story in the PDF attachment)

 

Kim Lewis

The Shepherd Boy

London, Walker Books, 1991

 

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You can visit us on Facebook where you can find more interesting stories about several different topics.
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Sir/Madam,
 
We are a group of people with some experience in the area of storytelling and we would like to share our project – The Joy of Reading – with everyone who is in touch with children and young people in general but above all with everyone that enjoys reading.
This project consists of sending stories for free on a weekly basis. So this particular e-mail and the ones that will follow it in the next weeks are intended to share some small stories with you. All the stories we send have some values within: respect for nature, tolerance, tenderness, responsibility, solidarity and many more. They all aim at developing the reading skills among young people, as well as allowing some moments of reflection and dialogue about topics connected with human values, which seem to have been somewhat forgotten in these times of materialism and hedonism.
We thank you for your attention and hope you will welcome this project (which, it is important to say, does not have any profitable aims).
If you know anyone interested in receiving the weekly stories by email, let us know by sending their emails to us.
Please let us know your opinion about the project.
 
Yours faithfully
The Pedagogical Team
 

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वसुंधरा राजे फ़ौरन धौलपुर राजमहल खाली करे !

वसुंधरा राजे फ़ौरन धौलपुर राजमहल खाली करे !


कांग्रेस नेता श्री जयराम रमेश ने मीडिया के समक्ष; जिस तरह सरकारी
दस्तावेज प्रस्तुत करते हुए धौलपुर राजमहल को "राष्ट्रीय (सरकारी)
सम्पत्ति" बताया था, और राजस्थान के मुख्यमंत्री वसुंधरा राजे पर आरोप
लगाया था कि श्रीमती वसुंधरा राजे और उसके परिवार के लोग भगौड़ा ललित मोदी
के साथ मिलकर अपने निजी फायदे के लिए अपनी निजी कम्पनी के दफ्तर के रूप
में इस राजमहल का उपयोग करते चले आ रहे है...उसके बाद यह मांग उठना
लाजिमी हो गया है कि, अगर वसुंधरा राजे चंद दिनों के अंदर धौलपुर राजमहल
को स्वेच्छा से खाली करने को राजी नहीं होती...तो उन्हें जबरन खदेड़ दिया
जाना चाहिए. राजस्थान की जनता को अब उठ खड़ा होने का वक्त आ गया है.
धौलपुर राजमहल पर कब्जा करने के साथ ही उसके हजारो एकड़ जमीन में फैली
रियासतों को भी अपने कब्जे में लेकर हजारों भूमिहीन खेतिहर मजदूरों के
बीच बांटने के अधूरे कार्यों को पूरा करने के लिए अभियान छेड़ देनी चाहिए.
जाहिर है, इस लड़ाई की चिंगारी राजस्थान के धौलपुर से उदयपुर पहुंचेगी और
उदयपुर से ग्वालियर...

ए. सी. प्रभाकर

निदेशक, तीसरी दुनिया का सामाजिक नेटवर्क्स
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{Awareness} FCPS/MRCP II Post Graduate Course 2015

 

May I please request you to like Events Updates CME group to get upcoming information of conference, workshop, lectures & awareness programme. https://www.facebook.com/groups/710385779080272/    You can also post the event to circulate to the group.


 

Note: Limited seats are left.

 


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{Awareness} Inspiration on a wheelchair

 


Inspiration on a wheelchair

in Opinion 2015-06-29 10:52:11 143 Views

Mehr Tarar
As I walked through the bustling lobby of the Pearl Continental, Lahore one post-iftari evening, accompanied by my niece, also my closest friend, there was one overwhelming thought about the person I was about to meet: I felt a connection with her, albeit I had never met her, and had only spoken to her on the phone a couple of times. Seated at the far end of the coffee shop, clad in a powder-blue cotton kurta, embroidered with white delicate traditional motifs, her face was aglow with her trademark 1000-watt, gorgeous smile. Muniba Mazari, the woman whose story is so inspirational I had to meet her as soon as I heard about her, and after hearing her TED speech, I could think of nothing else.
The first thing that anyone notices about Muniba is that she is gorgeous! And a smile that would light up the darkest of rooms, soothe any agitated mind, move a stony heart, and make a man�s heart miss many beats.

The next two hours were spent listening to her story, a story that is so extraordinary it seems like a screenplay of one of those feel-good movies where the protagonist goes through hell, and after an excruciatingly painful reinvention of self and body metamorphoses into this splendid being who�s a miracle in herself. Next to her was her mother, a woman whose devotion and love for her daughter is so simply unconditional, your eyes well up, there�s a tightness in your chest, and you look at her as if she is from another world.

She is that special. Muniba�s mother epitomises the best of motherhood, the kind of motherhood sagas take inspiration from, and odes are dedicated to. The kind of motherhood that is a personification of what someone who felt a mother�s love in his/her soul said: �The loveliest masterpiece at the heart of God is the love of a mother.�

Muniba Mazari�what do I write about her? After meeting her, I can�t stop thinking about her, her life, her pain, the pain that folds in a protective foetal form in her soul, and every day it�s reborn into a spirit that is so overpoweringly heartwarming it�s almost surreal. In 2007, en route to her hometown, Rahimyar Khan in South Punjab from Quetta, Balochistan, she met with an accident; the car she was in fell into a ditch, crushing the side where she was seated.
The then 21-year-old Muniba was in so much pain her mind stopped her body from reacting to it. She stopped screaming. The injuries were many, and she encapsulates the horrific list calmly as if she�s skimming through the to-do list for that day. Muniba is that brave. As she speaks to an auditorium full of rapt audience in Islamabad during a TED talk last year, you feel a quiet chill down your spine �� radius ulna of right arm was fractured. Shoulder bone and collarbone were fractured. Lungs and liver were badly injured. The whole ribcage was fractured.�

It didn�t end there. �But the injury that changed my life was the spinal cord injury. Three of my vertebrae were completely crushed� �And en route to the nearby hospital in that godforsaken area, Muniba ��realised that half of the body was fractured, and half was paralysed.� Muniba became a quadriplegic.
The rest is seven years of unquantifiable anguish that Muniba lived through, one long day at a time, slowly transforming into the remarkable person that she is.
After two months of many painful surgeries at the Agha Khan Hospital, Karachi, Muniba moved to Islamabad where the next two years were overlapping indistinguishable days of being bedridden completely, her mind threatening to collapse whenever the pain of her state overwhelmed it. Muniba turned to painting that she had taken up in the hospital, determined to change the drab white of her garb and expressionless walls with colours that still enhanced her indomitable mind and soul. Using her injured hand, wrist steadied with titanium, Muniba started to paint, and she never looked back. Multiple successful, fully-sold exhibitions, her art depicts women with sad but brave visages, and colours that are as vibrant as her smile, her spirit and her never-say-die optimism. As Muniba�s legs stopped working she learnt to soar with her fingers. Now the entire universe is her realm, and she enters it whenever the voices in her resilient soul, her broken body need an expression.

The one constant joy in her life is her four-year-old son, Nael, who�s the raison d��tre of her existence as she smiles through one day from another. Holding her utterly wonderful son�s tiny but strong hand, she rolls her wheelchair where others walk.

Her almost decade-long marriage that disintegrated after her accident ended last year, but that didn�t stop her from adopting a child, and giving him her all. Of course, as she says, none of it would have been possible without the superhuman strength of her own mother. And her two brothers, who are a constant source of love and support in Muniba�s life.

While she speaks as a motivational speaker in different forums and conferences, presently Muniba, a fellow Piscean, works as an anchor at PTV, the state television. The first �wheelchair-bound anchor.� Muniba is also the first wheelchair-bound model for the prestigious Toni&Guy in Pakistan, the brand ambassador for The Body Shop in Pakistan, and one of the Pond�s Miracle
Women.

I could go on, but I�d hold that for the book I�m writing on Pakistan�s glorious heroes, for which I was honoured to interview this superwoman, the utterly delightful, the very fabulous Muniba. Nothing I write does justice to even an iota of the extraordinariness that is very simply�Muniba Mazari.

And here�s the TED talk that made me Muniba�s fan, and feel so much for her I felt connected to her. And after meeting her, Muniba�s much more than that: she has become a role model for me. As she is one for countless others.


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{Awareness} Karachi should prepare for more heatwaves

 


As last week's heatwave death toll in Pakistan's largest city crossed 1,200, and there was no sign of the monsoon rain promised by the weatherman, some experts warned of another heatwave in the offing. Mercifully, the Pakistan Meteorological Department refuted the claim.

After a blistering week, Karachi, a city of an estimated 20 million people, saw the maximum temperature dropping from 49 degrees Celsius to 37. The breeze from the Arabian Sea is back.

While some scientists have linked the heat wave to climate change, many others are reluctant to do so.

Asked if there was a link, Adil Najam – dean of the Pardee School of Global Studies at Boston University – said, "The honest answer, nearly always, is no, not entirely." But, he added, "Climate change exacerbates existing threats and so what might have been manageable in the normal course of things becomes unmanageable with climate change."

Saleem H. Ali, chair in Sustainable Resources Development of University of Queensland in Brisbane, said, "Climate change is measured in aggregate terms and not through episodic weather occurrences."

Najam, who has been among the lead authors of the third and fourth assessment reports of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), also said there have been many heatwaves, droughts, floods and so on in the past, some of them really bad. But, "What climate change does is that it adds to these threats by increasing their likelihood, or frequency or ferocity."

Heatwave took authorities by surprise

The scientists' warning makes it clear that Karachi needs to prepare for more heatwaves. The recent heatwave showed how unprepared the authorities were.

While every resident suffered from the urban heat island effect, those who died were the poorest, weakest and most vulnerable. Jam Mahtab, Sindh's health minister, said that 35 per cent of those who died were women, while 25 per cent were street dwellers.

"The loss in Karachi has been horrendous not just because the heat was unbearable, but because the city and particularly its poorest residents were so very ill-equipped to deal with its impacts," said Najam, adding that Karachi was a perfect example of "what an unresilient city looks like".

Extreme poverty, bad urban infrastructure, poor development and poor governance compounded the climate crises exponentially, he said.

The heatwave has also shown the indifference and ineptitude of the government.

"Opposition leader Imran Khan visited the hospital, so did Sindh chief minister and the province's ruling party chairman Bilawal Bhutto; I don't know what happened after that," said Jibran Nasir, a young lawyer and social activist who has been able to mobilise a cohort of young people to work at two of Karachi's biggest government-run hospitals – the Jinnah Postgraduate Medical Centre and the Civil Hospital – where they work from 10 in the morning to 10 in the night despite this being the month of Ramazan.

Had the citizens of Karachi not stepped in to fill the gap where government services were unavailable, many more would have died. "The extra hands came in very handy for simple cooling and rehydration efforts," said Tasnim Ahsan of the Jinnah Postgraduate Medical Centre (JPMC).

The volunteers have not only offered their time, but provided many things the hospitals needed – from oral rehydration solutions to bottled water, juice, ice blocks, towels, sheets and even janitorial services.

"They even managed to get donations for chillers, air conditioners and generators to run them. Where we had ACs which were not working, they got them fixed," Ahsan said.

"All these measures should have been put in place by the government through its emergency measures which were conspicuous by their absence during this time."

According to Nasir, "The least the government could have done, and can do even now, is to put up marquees around town, at busy intersections to provide people with some shade. They could have put tubs of water and if that was not possible, put empty tubs and asked the citizens to donate some water."

Good governance to fight climate fury

Saleem Ali pointed out that better governance would not have brought the temperatures down, but the casualties could have been minimised.

He said public education on the importance of drinking water, to ask labourers to stay indoors in peak heat hours, encouraging the use of traditional clay and adobe architecture rather than hot concrete buildings was not only the government's responsibility but also of community organisations such as mosques as well as people who hire labourers.

"We are informing people about the coming week's weather forecast and educating them on what steps to take to protect themselves," said Nasir, adding, "The government can do the same — on billboards, public service announcements on TV and radio."

"Good governance is not a cure for dehydration, but good governance provides citizens with the means to deal with — and avoid — dehydration," Najam said.

"The very purpose of good governance, especially good governance for climate change, is to be able to give a meaningful safety net to those who are the poorest, the weakest and the most vulnerable."

To fight weather furies, Ali suggested a more collective approach. "It is high time Pakistan approach such matters with collective responsibility rather than making such tragedies an opportunity for blame games. Lessons should be learned by public and private institutions on adapting to extreme heat and cold stress (in areas) with high population density."

Today many urban planners and environmentalists says high temperatures can be managed by including a greater amount of open and green space in cities, providing shady spots (in the form of indigenous trees) and water fountains, and going back to vernacular architecture — ventilators, high ceilings and so on.

Planning for a changed climate

A recent study of 217 cities around the globe – led by Vimal Misra of Indian Institute of Technology, Gandhinagar – shows that in a heatwave situation, urban areas will be worse off than villages.

What is of urgency today is for governments to focus on adaptation efforts to reduce the death, damage and destruction caused by extreme weather events. Najam said, "Developing countries have to prepare to adapt to climate change themselves."

Ali said: "Human societies have the ability to adapt to many extreme events as long as they plan and have the resources to cope."

Najam does not want to see another policy document as the government's response.

"We already have enough and all are equally uninspiring in what they want to do and equally ineffectual in what they have actually done."

What the scientist would much rather see is Pakistan waking up to the realisation that the real solutions to all its crises are "solutions of development, solutions of better governance, solutions of sustainability".

The focus, he said, should be on making cities more resilient and making communities more sustainable.

This article was originally published on The Third Pole and has been reproduced with permission.

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